Why?

Why can't i be alone? I can't even make decisions.. I hate it when people ask you what your doing, then you tell them and then suddenly your decision is wrong. So then you have to change you mind to suit them. Why? I hate that. I feel like i have to explain myself to people all the time. Why should i have to explain my own decisions. If something bad happends then its all my own fault and i have brought it upon myself. Whenever this happens i always end up hurting someone else. Though my constant changing of decision. I hate that. I hate myself for doing that. I just want to be alone..

I hate it when people tell you what has happend to them through thier wrong making decision, or if they go on about it for ages and all you really want to do is make your own mistakes.
Leave me alone..

This is the Nicest song in the world :) and i found it first! Well i like to think i have anyway..

Night falls
And towns become circuit boards
We can beat the sun as long as we keep moving
From the air
Stadium lights stand out like flares
And all I know is that you're sat here right next to me
We rarely see
Waning signs in the air we breathe
Right now I feel each and every fragment

This paper trail leads right back to you…
You say you need me to step outside
You spent the evening unpacking books from boxes
You passed me up so as not to break a promise
Scattered polaroids and sprinkled words around your collar
In the long run, you said you knew that this would happen

This is something new
But it turns out it was borrowed, too"why does every let
down have to be so thin?"
Rain explodes
At the moment that the cab door closedI feel the weight upon your kiss; ambiguous

You have to leave.
I appreciate thatBut I hate when conversation slips out of our grasp
You spent the evening unpacking books from boxes
You passed me up so as not to break a promise
The pounding rain continued it's bleak fall
And we decided just to write after all.

The pounding rain contiunued it's bleak fall
And we decided just to write after all....

xxx

Thoughts..<3

I thought its about time I came back to writing this blog of mine. Nothing yet has inspired me to write it such description as i was once able. However i can try to create some kind of ramblings.
Here I go..

I like the way the Sun sets these days, every night this week i have watched it slowly dissapearing behind the trees and down the hills back. I think i like the way that when it just gets past the second tree and is slowly moving down the third trees branches, it spreads a hazy light to the left of the field. It looks pretty, makes all the trees have a yellowy glow. :) It reminds me of something, but i can't quite put my finger on it. It makes me feel happier though. I like remebering things i have seen when its been like this. I away i love it, and in a way i hate it.

I also like the moon, I am deeply in love with the moon. Its so mysterious, and it has a gentle silver glow that makes everthing look pretty. I like the way that if you sometimes look at it, you can see patterns forming on the surface of it. I think the moon is male. The sun and the moon are such opposites, and yet they are both two beautiful things. So it doesn't really make sense. I guess you could say its similar to Love. When two people are complete opposites, they can still have something beautiful about them. So opposites are not really oposites. Thats a nice thought :) I think the sun over powers the moon, she is so beautiful that she glows so bright, but when she sees the moon, she fades out and lets him take over...

Hmm..

I know i havent written on here for a while, its about time i brought it back to life. I've been quite the busy been science my last few entrys.

Not really the best of times to be starting this up again, the only thing i actually feel like writing is how sorry i feel for myself. I feel like time has stopped around me, theres nothing worth looking forward to anymore and each day seems to last for so long. I'm not even enjoying the weather outside, which has been strangely sunny and lovely for the past few weeks.

I'm lost in my own little world, and i don't have feelings towards anything anymore, its as though i've lost enthusiasm to get excited over things. Nothing is funny anymore. I feel like i'm broken. I just need someone to put me back together again. :(

Everything around me is a constant reminder, it won't stop and all i want to do is forget so much, but i can't.

atnaf

Also know as Fanta.. a refreshing drink that can quench thirst. It is also available in many flavours including lemon, fruit twist and apple. What is fruit twist? Is this a flavour that no one infomed me about. Do you think maybe they put fruit in a pile and twisted it? Or maybe they made the fruits play twister? nevermind. Back to fanta, isnt it amazing. I must say they did a good job of the advert too. I was very true that the fanta light tasted nasty and 'water like'. But fanta have learnt from thier mistakes and made there 'light' version better. Or they have labelled normal fanta as 'fanta z' to trick people into thinking there is a lightness to the drink.

So i was reading the writing on the back of the can, and anyone who has just opened the can and read the part where is says ' best before end-see base of can for date' will start to wonder... 'i wonder what date mine goes off' *tips can upside down* and emptys the entire contents on to there shoe. What if the shoe is new?? can they sue the fanta company for bad labelling, with no warning?? hmmm....

Another fault i noticed about the fanta packaging what that it says 'taste best ICE cold'. Ok i bet there is bound to be someone out there willing to place there fanta can in the freezer, wait until its 'ice cold' and then get it out to find that they cant actually open the can because of the ice. :) oh the joys of fanta.

I think they make up the flavours.. i mean has anyone actually heard of Sodium saccharin, aspartame?? (well apart from you clever chemisty people) i have not. What the hell are we drinking??? Anyway i think that just about sums up my curiosity of FANTA. woo

Smooooogles x

I'm Back, I'm Back, i'm Back...

Hello blog *waves*

Oh how i missed you soo much. hehe. I had such a lovely time and i found out that spanish people are crazy drivers, very arrogant and if you ask them if they can speak english and they say no they try no effort what so ever to help you they just point somewhere and expect you to follow where there directing you until, you realise your actually walking into the sea. How nice of them. But apart from that it was lovely. They are sneaky people though, they really are. For example if you park you car in a place they do not like, they simply take your car away on a big truck so that you believe it has been pinched. AND they seem to like luring you into there sneaky ways and then capturing you into giving your money away. hehe. A great example of this was demonstrated by my brother.

We spent the day at a theme park and as we walked past the entrance my brother noticed a man holding a cute cuddly lion cub. My brother who loves animals and could not resist in taking a closer look walked over to the lion cub. I said come on we shall go up here, BUT it was too late he had already walked over the the man and taken hold of the lion cub into his arms. So i walked over to him and the man pulled me next to my brother and said ' now i take photo'. SNAP the photo was taken and not only that but after it was taken he hurried back to my brother, snatched the lion cub back and said '15 euros please'. I looked at my brother and his face was in shock. It was just like someone had just jumped behind him and scared him to death. After paying his fee he walked away, mouth wide open, and said ' ok what just happend here?'. At first we felt ashamed about the fact that we had fallen into there plans, but now its just hillarious. But the picture is really nice actually so it didnt turn out to badly.

My holiday also Included a flight which was nearly missed due to serious card playing, lol. And lots of sun sun sun. Oh yes i took your advice and steered clear of the water. :) i didnt really fancy drinking there water as most places you went to on the coast smelt of fish... uck.

Smooglies xXx

Off to spain....

How fun, if that title wasnt obvious enough i am off to spain for a few weeks... hehe. I am quite excited actually i havent been away for a while and i am looking forward to a change of senery. The only thing that scares me about going into a foreign country is that every one is in fact foreign, and its like there language is code so you never really know what they are saying. eek. But yes it shall be much funess hopefully. I will miss Marky though!!! so so much :( wish i could have squished him in with all my clothes. No one would have noticed him its not like he is bomb shaped or anything, he would just be sleeping in my suitcase accidently on purpose. hehe. And thats about it for todays blog.. just so you know i am not neglecting my blog again i actually have a purpose to be away from it.. hehe sorry blog. See you soon x

Smoogles